What happens to you when you make a mistake and discover it? Moreover, I have to wonder what happens when you make another mistake right after the first one affecting the same group of people! People that you just met! Maybe that never happened to you but recently it happened to me.
I told the story of my mistake to my marketing guru friend and she said, go write a blog about it and I thought that was a perfect idea and one I never would have thought of. Why is it perfect? Because in my past I would have never done such an embarrassing thing. Listen, i’m not anything close to perfect and once upon a time I would have been so mortified and so horrified and yes, even filled with shame over a simple mistake. You couldn’t have paid me to share about it. As you can see, that’s not what happened this time!
Before, there would be this booming voice echoing as if I were deep in a cave. At any random moment the voice screamed and echoed telling me what a failure I am, how embarrassed I should be and what are they going to say about me….again!
There used to be this roller coaster of emotions swirling in my thoughts never letting me get off this cycle of thinking. I would have berated myself each moment the memory of my mistake came into back into focus. I’d worry who saw my mistake. Who did they tell? And following the drama, I would not be able to jump off the insidious roller coaster of chatter taking up residence in my mind for quite some time.
Well, as I told this friend the story of what happened something really unexpected happened. I mean, it’s absolutely crazy. Instead of beating myself up, I laughed! I actually laughed! Like what happened and where did you hide the real Sandy?
I smiled and with pure delight, I realized I have not done that old looped, roller coaster thinking in a very long time but I just hadn’t noticed. I again laughed as a result of the incredible relief of recognizing this self forgiveness. I had a new normal and it was a thrill to discover!
So, I wonder how many of you can relate to the punishment that persists, post incident. Maybe you wonder how I got to this new place without even noticing. I have to wonder; how can more of us have our own transformation?
Now please understand that this is nothing I have done. I didn't try, I didn't work hard, I didn’t even notice for goodness sake! But, all along it was the work of the One who helps us day and night if we just remember to ask. If we are willing, obedient (most of the time) and keep checking in He is happy to help us be the person he created us to be.
He changed me. It took a lifetime in my eye’s but for Him, just a nano-second. I imagine a heavenly moment when He says, yup, she’s ready now. His merciful blessing seeps in with lightning speed and we learn that it’s okay to be human. If you have known me for any length of time, you know I always say, I am not any more special than anyone else. If He was so gracious as to do this for me, I’m pretty certain He can do it for all of us. He’s just patiently waits for us to say, I’m ready God, I’ve had enough. I’m yours.
Isaiah 30:18 Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
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Actions: You have to start somewhere. Try a few of these and don't give up!
Give it to God! Simply ask Him to help you recognize if you beat yourself up for a human mistake.
Ask Him to make you aware of what you're feeling and telling yourself when you make a mistake.
Literally ask yourself what you would tell a friend if the same thing happened to them.
Ask trusted friends and loved one's if they've noticed you expecting yourself to be perfect.
Once you get some clarity begin to journal about your self dialogue.
Try being intentionally gentler to yourself. Baby Steps, you've got this.
What does Gods word say? Google scripture about self forgiveness or whatever fits for you.
Make an index card or take a picture and keep it with you to remind yourself.